AWP Spouses

Cathy Day has a great piece up about her AWP spouse, her husband Eric Kroczek. As the proud partner of another one of those registered as "Spouse," I can relate. Especially to this line:

He is the kind of spouse I am too proud to be. My biggest fear growing up was that I’d end up being nothing but Mrs. So and So. 

None of us writes in a vacuum; we're enabled, for better or worse, by those intimate to our lives. I'm lucky enough to have a husband who made me a goodie bag, braved the conference hall full of experimental poets, sat through several evening events, and cheered me on every time I came back with even the tiniest victory. And then he did all of the driving on Saturday after I finally hit my wall.

For me, a big part of growing up in this time and place has been learning that letting other people do things for me doesn't mean I can't do them myself, that accepting help isn't admitting weakness, and that, even if it were, being weak sometimes isn't actually anything to lose sleep over.

All this to say that I've spent a lot of time talking about women writers lately and how that particular community supports me, but it's critical to also mention just how possible my non-woman, non-writer husband makes my work.